Chad!

Oh my gosh, Dear Criss. If I told you a year ago that the Dolphins would make the playoffs and the Pats wouldn't, would you have believed me? Oh, man, poor Jason Taylor. If only he stuck around. What about Zack Thomas? What's this that Huizenga wants to sell - now that he's winning after 400 years of losing?! Is that rumor or fact?

The Pats are out. Hm. But what's really embarrassing is Romo. OH MY GOSH - send Brett to Dallas! Did I not say that months ago? And Mangini is out?! Whoa! Crazy. Where will he land? I strrrrongly advise Bill Cowher to stay retired and NOT go to any stupid team to suffer and get fired. Not the Jets and not the Broncos (poor Shanahan). He went out as a winner and should stay out as a winner. I don't care if they offer 68 trillion dollars. Um, I know they're not headed to the Super Bowl, but did you notice the 49ers won again this week? Hey!

Alright, so now you landed Tiexiera? There you go hoarding all again. Wait - did I already know that? I'm all confused. A.J. Burnett, C.C. Sabathia and Tiexiera? Whatevs. As of yesterday, I am now older than Tiexiera. I seem to be getting older than everyone. But hey, at least Chad is older than me. Now I don't feel so old.

Um, what's with Ben getting taken off the field in a stretcher? Freaked me out! He was on the ground for almost 15 minutes, people. Of course, it's another concussion. Third in three years. That's not good. Don't make me give you the Steve Young speech. Oh goodness. I don't need anymore gray hairs.

Strong work, Chad! Everyone better buckle up for Baltimore.


Roxy

Photo: Getty