Come on Lowell, Just Sign Here. ... Love, Theo

Day 12: Re-sign Mike Lowell, Mirabelli and Coco Post-World Series Campaign

You're just jealous your players aren't cool and enjoy their jobs and life.

Okay, I didn't realize this, but we are keeping Wakey. Was that even a question? And what shouldn't be a question, Dear Criss, is whether we're keeping Mirabelli. We've been through this before, people. Does anyone not remember the desperate moments of flying the man in from California and having him change in the back of a state trooper's car speeding to Fenway? I know the story gets a little more dramatic everytime, but not having Mirabelli makes things more dramatic. He's Tek's buddy, man. Come on. Nobody in the whole wide world can catch Wakey like Belli. NOBODY. And nobody is as reliable as a back up to my Varitek.

As for Gagne, The Boston Globe wrote, "Boras said yesterday that Eric Gagne will pursue a role as a closer this off-season, meaning he will not return to the Red Sox."

So you guys didn't give away the whole team for Miguel Cabrera? I didn't think you would give up Joba for anyone. Now the Heat's apparently trying to compete with the Dolphins. That's pretty embarrassing.

Roxy


Lowell fans, sign: Elsa, Getty Images
Belli & Millar: Al Bello, Getty Images