Let me give you a little Common 101, Dear Roxy. He's a very well-known hip-hop artist and actor. Of course you wouldn't know that, Rox, since you only listen to Country radio stations! Expand your horizons, my friend.

El Lame is right. What's up with that tacky name? And speaking of tacky: Shut your hole, Shaq! Seriously, who the hell does he think he is? He wanted to leave, they let him go... he got everything he wanted and he's talking crap? Please! That desert heat is not doing him good!

I went to the Sony Ericsson Open match in Key Biscayne on Wednesday! Needless to say, it was an overall good experience. Although I saw two unknown girls play, Shaughnessy and King, I liked the atmosphere and game. My sister will be watching Serena (I think) tonight.

And while she's watching the tennis match, I'll be watching the Yankees from my Club Seats at Dolphin Stadium. Woo-hoo!!!!

Congrats to Matsui too! He is now a married man! And richer, too. It seems he won a bet with Jeter and Abreu.

-Criss

PS: Canseco can shut his hole, too!

Cover Models

Wait, who is Common? Are you serious? Is that a name, Dear Criss? I don't think Varitek listens to Common.

Why are you holding back pics? Are there others we should know about? And why on Earth did they put Jeter on the cover of Men's Health? (Men's Fitness has Josh Beckett on its cover. Who knew he was Mr. Fitness, no offense, but apparently he really is!) Clearly Jacoby is the hot young star everyone is talking about. Jeter is so '90s. Hee, hee, hee. But really, I think it was just Men's Journal not wanting to rock the boat and go with Jacoby. Please people. I think most men want to be in Jacoby's shape. We're tired of the oldies, how about these rookies who are on fire!

Let it be known that I think the "El Heat" on the jerseys is el lame. Clearly they're not doing so well. I won't even get into Canseco's book excerpts on A-Fraud. (Thought I'd randomly throw that in there.)

So it looks like the only thing we can agree on is Jason Taylor's dancing abilities. Nice. By the way, I totally didn't think of checking to see if the Sox were on at the crack of morning when I woke up for work, so I missed the Japan game, but we didn't do too badly. Matsuzaka is a bit too hard on himself. We won, people, chill. Did they show another game?

Okay, I am way past my professional bed time. I've got a long day tomorrow (like past midnight, but if you want to hang out Sat., that's cool - but I'll need to sleep until like 1:00 p.m. first). Hope your sister has fun watching Common play tennis - or, you know what I mean.

Roxy

Tek photo: Junko Kimura, Getty Images

Ask and you shall receive

You mean this photo, Dear Roxy? It's a little better than a camera phone photo! It just took me a while to load.

I forgot to mention something about this game. It was "Latin Night" so the Heat players' jerseys had "El Heat" in the front! How crazy is that?!

I'm happy to report that the A's won against your Sox this morning. I caught a bit of the game while getting ready for work.

The Yanks come to town in two days! Woo-hoo! It'll be 7 of us going to the game! How cool is that?

I just read Men's Health magazine which has Jeter on the cover! Great story too. BTW, it has a story on Jacoby as well.

Did I jinx Tiger?

My sister's gonna check out one of the Williams sisters at the tennis match on Friday. Should be interesting! And is one of them dating Common? Weird.

Kudos to Jason! He was awesome on Monday! He's definitely one of my favorites, along with Kristy!

-Criss

Photo: Mine :)

Homecoming

And you couldn't even sneak in a picture of Patrick Ewing, Dear Criss? Hello?! Don't we have the same camera phone? Well, sounds like you had a good time. That rivalry was great, I agree. As for me, I made another trip to Naples this weekend to pick up my brother's car from the shop after our crazy Ft. Myers adventure last week. Only this time, we didn't have a game to go to. Awwwww.

My Sox are in Japan. If you're from the U.S. and go to that game, would that make you a fanatic? Not that I was considering it. That's some welcome back Matsuzaka and Okajima got. You know, the season's gonna start and it doesn't even feel like it. I'm taking a deep breath before the stress begins. NCAA brackets are fun, but it's no baseball.

Okay, did you catch Dancing with the Stars? Jason Taylor got three nines. What?! Apparently playing football means you're born to dance.

Roxy

AP photo, David Guttenfelder

Billy Crystal struck out but so what, Dear Roxy? The important thing here is that he had his wish fulfilled. He'll forever remember the day he was a Yankee.

Speaking of the Yankees, the Yanks paid homage to Va. Tech. They visited the memorial, spoke to the families, signed autographs, and played an emotional game. Alex even sat on the Va. Tech dugout!

I went to yet another close Heat game, Rox. And guess what? Yes, the Heat loss the game last minute... again!

What did I expect? They didn't have Wade, Marion or Haslem playing! Only 12-year old looking guys.

The good thing about this game is that I saw Patrick Ewing!!! Oh, how I love Ewing, especially in the 90s Knicks-Heat rivalry!

Oh, and that J-Will scored over 30 points... it was more like Jason Williams agains the Magic!

You think that's bad? The Heat hit another low when they scored just 54 points against the Raptors the other night! Ouch.

Tiger's in town. Everyone might as well just sit down! The guy is unstoppable.

Happy Easter!

-Criss

Photos: Sam Dean, Roanoke Times via AP; Steve Helber, AP.

What Fans Do for the Sox

Well, I'm back. What an adventure. I'll give you the summary version, Dear Criss. We make it off Alligator Alley and into Naples, when the car just shuts off as we're driving to Ft. Myers. These random guys offer to take us to the game because they were going, too. Instead we decline their offer for beer and ask them to drop us at a car rental place. We get the car towed and decide to catch what's left of the game when - it starts RAINING - HARD! We catch maybe two minutes of the game, when it's called. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Who did we miss? Matsuzaka. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Luckily, we had tickets for the next day. We caught Lester, Pedroia, Lugo, Lowell, Varitek, Manny, Papi and Drew. Yes, Varitek was there! We got suckered into buying excessive merchandise, and I wonder why I need so many hats - but love them all. Today, I wore my St. Patty's hat. It was really great to sip on my overpriced lemonade and enjoy a sunny, breezy day with the Sox, my mom (who declared she will never make this road trip again), and my brother. I promise to share the whole story with you next time we meet. In the meantime, enjoy my pictures.

Roxy

with pics by Roxy!

A Backup Catcher Not Named Mirabelli?

You bet I'm not going with you to see the Yankees. Billy Crystal and you, Dear Criss, can keep Jeter. Blech.

You know you love my pictures. Here's another. I'll take more for you this weekend. So, yes, it's no secret that Varitek was not there, but I have two more shots at seeing him! Oh my gosh, I just remembered to find my tickets. Oh man. Where did I put them?

Are they really calling Brett Favre a girl? Okay so forget the Heat. How about UM? Looks like they're in the big dance.

Um, what's this about the Sox releasing Mirabelli? Wasn't he re-signed? Did we not learn last time around the disaster that happens when there's no Belli? Really, I don't have energy to give this same lecture. But why should we lose games with Wakey pitching when we know the secret to winning them is Mirabelli catching? I'm really too tired for this. I gotta get some sleep. We have a long drive ahead of us and there's only like one bathroom stop/exit along the way!

Roxy

Crystal the Yankee

So, here's the new member of the Yankee organization, Dear Roxy.

Billy Crystal is a Yankee! Weird but true.

I see you took lots of pictures of the Red Sox, yet I don't see one of your favorite player. Please don't tell me he wasn't at the game! hahahaha... you're 1 out 1,00004! He keeps evading you! What's going on here?

I think I'm going to the Yankees-Marlins game here at Dolphin Stadium. And no, I won't ask you to come with. I know how you strongly you feel about going to a Yankee game. But I'll be sure to take lots of pictures of Jeter and Co. for you!

D.Wade is out for the remaining of the season. I guess it doesn't make much of a difference.

And can people stop calling Favre a girl for crying? So typical!

-Criss

Photo: Kathy Willens, AP.

Ft. Lauderdale Fun

I was face to face with Jacoby Ellsbury today in Ft. Lauderdale, Dear Criss. I asked him to sign my hat and borrowed some guy's skinny pen and got a teeny, skinny autograph - but got good pics!

Lowell, Kielty, Tavarez and Cora were there, and yes, it was a split squad. Of course, I saw Millar! It's always great to see him. Bring him back! This crazy guy attacked an older man to get the ball thrown clearly in grandpa's direction. He made him bleed and walked away with the ball. In fact he ran up all the bleachers to knock over the man to get the ball. Otherwise, we met funny drunk folks, funny sun-burned-to-be folks, and heard great Mass. accents.

So Brett Favre retired. Well, I thought he had one more season in him, but good for him. I'd say he gets into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot.

Back to the Sox. I know you don't love my boys as much (or at all) as I do, but you have to check out this video clip from NESN on the Boston Globe site of shirtless bad dancing. Please go laugh.

Ft. Myers next week. Get ready for more photos!

Roxy

Wisconsin

I made it back from my trip to Chicago and Milwaukee and I couldn't be happier, Dear Roxy. I had such an amazing time in both cities... yes, even in Milwaukee. I mean, what's not to love about the Cheese State?

Since baseball is upon us, I figure I'd add a picture of Miller Park! That park is huge!!! Good times all around.

And speaking of Wisconsin, Brett Favre. The great quarterback has called it quits after 17 years of playing the game he loves. We will surely miss him trotting around with that big smile and even bigger heart. Thanks for the great memories, Brett.

-Criss

Photos: Miller Park, Me

Brett's, Mike Roemer, AP.

Playing Hooky

I guess, Dear Criss, it's not playing hooky if you requested the day off. But anyway, I'm off to spring training for the day. Woo hoo! Sorry I've been absent for a while. Imagine my e-mail inbox. Yeah, total catch up. So I'll come back with good pictures, hopefully, and surely good stories.

Wait - the Heat won?!

Roxy